id be glad to
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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