I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
