SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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