And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize