shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
