oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
