Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
