Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i believe in u and ur pee
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
