we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
