apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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