Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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