Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
