she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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