Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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