For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
