I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
