i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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