you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
