I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
