no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
