Dual....:-)
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
