So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
