we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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