just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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