speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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