All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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