Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
