it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
