ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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