I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
