That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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