grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I love having hate sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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