that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
