i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
