i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
