Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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