Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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