Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
