Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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