I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
