You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
