I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
