my vag is so smooth its legendary
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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