sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
