I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your penis caused this!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
