I am puke
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
