I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
