I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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