Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
