It's just like the Real World with babies
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
