And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My vagina is very pro this idea
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