So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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